So I’m allowed to go to prom… yay!!!! This is fantastic news for me. Especially seeing as prom is on Saturday and my boyfriend already spent over $100 renting his tux.

Here’s the catch. I’m not allowed to wear a thong.

Who created this rule? My father.

Why? Because only prostitutes wear thongs.

And how is this being enforced? He is going to check to make sure that I’m not before he drives me to prom. (Yes, he really is drivng me to prom.)

I’m pretty sure that considering my age, this could qualify as sexual harrassment. I am so angry/offended/pissed/hurt/irate/(__insert_word_here__).

It’s my ass, I’ll adorn it with whatever the fuck I want to. Am I right or am I living in the nineteenth-century Bible Belt?