So the friend that I drove up to see this weekend has feelings for me. Unreciprocated, romantic feelings. I knew that he had feelings for me before but I didn’t think that he still did. This makes our friendship four whole new flavors of awkward.

I know what I have to do: I have to be straight with him. Which, unfortunately, didn’t really work the first time. Arrghh. I have to be clearer with him. Fuck. I hate those conversations. I HATE TALKING ABOUT MY FEELINGS, GODDAMMIT!

So that was the first part of my weekend.

The second part included my exboyfriend returning to work at the same restaurant as me. I was waitressing that day, he’s a dishwasher. This should require minimal contact. Unfortunately whenever I brought a bus-pan into the kitchen, or had to ask for him to refill the soda fountain, etc. (nothing out of the ordinary for a waitress to ask a dishwasher) I had the pleasure of being called a bitch. Super-fun. When I checked my email at the end of the day, I had an email for him more or less trying to explain his behavior.

It consisted largely of: “I still love you. It hurts to see you. It hurts to see you being happy. It hurts to see you in a skirt. It hurts to talk to you. It hurts that you’ve changed. It hurts that you’re not mine anymore. I’m sorry for everything I did. I’m sorry I ruined everything between us. Blah, blah, blah.”

WTF?

Title from “Jesus Christ” by Brand New